Hey Shining Stars,
Its officially 10 months till I make my way out of my twenties and I was doing some thinking about my life so far. I must say I have been through many phases in the past 9years 2 months and I really have to share with you some of the things that I love that i did and things you must do in your twenties so as to glide into your thirties with grace and little regret.
Here they are,
1) Fall in Love: It’s easier to fall in love in your twenties. DO IT! Give your heart to someone YOU really like (with emphasis on YOU) and enjoy the ride to wherever it takes you. Falling in love was really difficult for me, I had trust issues, very high expectations and a utopic imagination as to what love should be but eventually I did it. And it is beautiful…
2) Have your heart broken: There is actually a lot you learn from getting your heart broken. You learn that, though it seems impossible, you have the power to move on from the pain and have a grand life. I have had my heart broken several times by friends, lovers, people I crushed on that didn’t like me back, and dreams that I chased vigorously that didn’t amount to anything. But through it all I have gotten stronger and wiser so that’s something to be thankful for
3) Forgive your heart breakers: In my early 20’s I experienced a great betrayal from a friend and didn’t talk about it till my mid-twenties when I realized that that experience had stopped me from trusting people and making new friends. I had to tell her how I felt and forgive her to be able to move on. So forgive your heartbreakers… for your own sake. So that you don’t get stuck in a dark place.
4) Take Risks: If there’s ever a right time to take risks, whether it’s with your heart or money, your twenties is definitely the right time to make them. If they pay off then you have a longer time to enjoy the fruits of your risk, and if they don’t then you have ample time to get yourself together and get back in the game. Between 2010 – 2011, i spent every single naira I had, and every single energy in me, running a campus magazine. I even sold some shares my parents had bought for me just to be able to publish (smh). And even though i eventually had to stop the magazine, that period remains one of the highlights of my life so far (you’ll hear about it more as this blog progresses) and it was totally worth it. So jump, all in, into something you’ve always wanted to do. Trust me its better to fail and stand back up than to spend your life wondering what would have happened if you had tried.
5) Forgive yourself: After my magazine folded in 2011, I tortured myself for a good four years (total waste of valuable time) before I was able to get over not making it work and really give myself to other endeavors. You don’t have to waste as much time as i did. Forgive yourself today. The chances that you will make mistakes in your teens and early twenties, while finding your footing in life, is very high and at some point you must learn to forgive yourself for making them. Own your mistakes, learn from them, forgive yourself and move on to the next great thing that’s about to happen to you.
6) Take on a leadership position: Accept or go for a leadership position and kill at it. Do everything you can to make sure you leave the position better than when you got in. This will help you practice for the responsibilities that come later in life.
7) Decide on, and go for, your dream job: In Nigeria most people go to university for the sake of it and then decide what they want to be later on. Most just want a job, any job, regardless of if it makes them unhappy and miserable. As far as there is a paycheck every month, they are fine and, depending on the circumstances, there is nothing wrong with that. But I believe work is a whole lot better and you excel a whole lot faster if you love what you are doing so your twenties should be the time that you really think about and choose the career path that will make you happy (and make you money too). In my teens I wanted to be a writer and an entrepreneur but went to Uni and studied computer engineering. I started working at 19 (10 years now) and have worked in an ICT company, a bank, a radio station, a magazine, an engineering company… but I still really just want to own a thriving small business one day and write several books. And that’s exactly what I’ll spend the next 10 months setting up.
8) See the world, or the country: If you have the opportunity to travel please do so in your twenties. Travel to as many places as you can. Build memories. See the world. This is not something to only do in your twenties but starting in your twenties (before responsibilities build up) is so much more fun. Even if you can’t leave the country, plan a fun trip with your friends to some of the cool tourist sites in Nigeria. Explore as much as you can. I try to travel as much as I can even if it’s to tourist sites in Nigeria. Check out my youtube channel for some of the trips around the country that I have made.
9) Spend as much time with family and friends: As you grow and start having more serious responsibilities, and life starts getting more complicated, you might not have as much time as you would like with your family and friends. So spend time now and be mushy with them. While you can.
10) Partieee: Have fun while you are young and agile (yes… i said agile). I am a bit of an introvert but I always make time to go out and just blow off steam (even if it’s once in 6 months these days). Do all the partying you can in your twenties so that after that you’ll have lots of memories to laugh at.
And here’s an extra and very important tip
11) Learn not to give a F**k: Half of my problems in this life has stemmed from caring too much about what people think. Are they going to laugh at me? Will they call me crazy? Will people think I am bad? Will anybody I invite for my event come? Do people actually like me? Are they judging me? If so what do they think? Do I fit in?
I found myself holding back, losing confidence, and not being myself because of this and I will definitely say that now I give 70% less f**k than I did a few years back (… OK maybe 50% since i still feel the need to sensor f**k) and your aim should be to live a full life that makes you happy, not to do things because of what people will think.
So these are the things that I learnt and would do again if I could rewind my life. Hope you picked a thing or two from them and always remember to try your best to live life while you are alive
Love you guys